|
In · a · moment, · everything · can · change...
 |
|
I thought tears were supposed to make everything better... instead they just seem to be making it all worse, if only I could stop crying... I am just so numb, but yet hurting at the same time... Its all such a blur at the moment, I just wish I knew what was going to happen. What am I supposed to do until then?? What am I supposed to do period??
Current Mood: |
I just don't know anymore... |
Current Music: |
Bring Me to Life: Evanescense | |
 |
|
Why is it that when you most want something it suddenly seems you have lost it completely? And then as soon as you get it back in your hands it isn't quite as desirable, or you realize that maybe you really shouldn't have fought that hard for something that everyone was telling you to let go? But you just couldn't let it go b/c its all you have known for so long, and you can't even imagine life without it??? Was it your only chance to be "free" so to speak? Did you just prolong the heartache that seems at this moment to be inevitable?? Then you of course have to second guess everything you just fought for, cried over, practically begged for... was it worth the tears, the heartache, the painful reunitement that hurt so much?? And once you figure out the answer will it be something you want to hear? Or something else for you to just push away and ignore b/c its not what you want, and it doesn't fit into your plans???
Current Mood: |
Am I right or totally wrong? |
Current Music: |
We Live: Super Chick | |
 |
|
Only 2 more exams to go... its a bittersweet feeling, I'm ready to be finished with classes but I am not ready to leave the dorm life. Hard to believe I know, but I really love living in the dorm with all my lovely ladies!!! We have such great times, from decorating the halls for birthdays, partying it up, and breaking just about every rule we are given!! Living in the Schwitz isn't filled with only good memories, the administration of this building sucks, but shes a bitch and has no life so I guess we should give her a little bit of a break, lol. My room is basically empty which is sad. I miss my decorations and what not. Its very cozy in my room!! I got a ring from my boyfriend!! Its beautiful, I love it. Tomorrow is my friend Jenn's wedding rehearsal. I'm excited I have everything ready for the weeding except my shoes. I'm the tallest bridesmaid, go figure, the rest of them are able to go barefoot if they wanted... lol they arent but still, so I have to get shoes once I get home. Aaron's confirmation is Sunday, hes excited I'm sure, Mr. Biblical man himself... lol I have to come back to campus on Monday afternoon sometime to study for chem exam on tuesday, and then Tuesday my Mom, Nina, and Leanna are bringing the Yukon to get my mattress home and the frig. It is going to be sad. On the happy side, now that school is over I am going to Philly w/ my Nana to see my Claybe and Aunt Sara!!! I'm very excited about that as always... Ok, well I'm going to go to starbucks and get some hot tea, yummm to relieve my headache, thank you very much biology exam... lol
Current Mood: |
Only 2 more exams... |
Current Music: |
Ms. New Booty | |
 |
|
|
 |
|
I got my nose pierced!!! Mallory and I went and did it yesterday, Bob went with us for moral support. lol He had to hold our hands, we were shaking and about to pee our pants... lol but it went really well, Mallory went first and I hid behind Bob's back while he held her hand so she could get her's done... lol then Mallory held my hand and he took pictures!!! Wow... it was a traumatic evening, but worth it, just don't ask me to smile, scrunch my nose, or laugh really hard yet it hurts like a bitch!!! Tonight was TRIKE, it was freaking amazing, until the tent basically collapsed and all the water, wait all the freezing water, came pouring down on all of us... good old Indiana's tornados and all this blasted rain/hail. But as good college students we PARTIED ON. DG won the Lip-sync, but thats cause there music quit... PHI PI should have won, they were hot... you know it! Well in conclusion, Butler may be a classy, preppy school but DON'T let that fool you to how the Butler girls dance!!! We know how to get down and dirty!!!
Current Mood: |
Shake your body body... |
Current Music: |
Hips Don't Lie | |
 |
|
Alone in this house again tonight I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine Theres pictures of you and I on the walls around me the way that it was and should have been surrounds me I'll never get over you walkin' away Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain To hell with my pride Let it fall like rain, from my eyes Tonight I wanna cry. Would it help if i turned a sad song on "All by Myself" would sure hit me hard, now that you're gone Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain To hell with my pride Let it fall like rain, from my eyes Tonight I wanna cry. oOOo Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain To hell with this pride Let it fall like rain, from my eyes Tonight I wanna cry. Its been crazy lately, sometimes I really hate growing up, its all so complicated and every decision has at millions of different outcomes... Simplicity, is amazing, I wish that everything could be simple again. Everything is overly difficult at this moment... not difficult in the sense that I'm not doing well, but difficult in the sense that it seems every decision I make is going to turn my life upside down. Do I side with my heart and do what its telling me... or do I side with my logic which is telling me to just deal with the broken heart no matter how much its going to hurt... *sigh* Why can't my life be normal, whatever that is anyways... School is coming to an end, thats exciting but sad all at the same time. I'll miss my ladies of 2NW, well most of them anyways :) I certainly won't miss their stuff in the bathroom! lol I love that song, which is why I posted it, the words, especially the chorus are so true. Crying seems to be the answer to a lot of things right now, everything is just so confusing and complicated, I just don't seem to "know what else to do anymore... well before I cry thinking about a few things I'm just going to go lay down and snuggle up w/ my Big Bear :) "It's something unpredictable, but in the end its right. I hope you had the time of your life." Emily 0
Current Mood: |
A little of everything... |
Current Music: |
Tonight I Want to Cry: Keith Urban | |
 |
|
Hawaii was AMAZING!!! OMG, the trip was just unbelievable. I definitely think that anyone who has the chance should go, its more than worth it. I went sailing on a Catamaran yacht, snorkeling in the deep ocean and then in Hanauma Bay, into the crater of Diamond head (volcano), and then I went SCUBA diving!!! A giant sea turtle tried to attack me while snorkeling, and then again while sucba diving, lol. It was so funny. The weather wasn't the best b/c they had record rainfall so it was super wet, but the temperature was perfect. Omg, it was just amazing, thats all I can say. It was everything I could have asked for and more... :) Real flower leis are beautiful and they smell wonderful, however they are very heavy and your neck gets a little tired after a while. It was the first thing I got in Hawaii. It made it home safely too, I'm going to dry some of the leaves for my scrapbook. I took a couple of other pretty flowers home with me to dry out and scrapbook too!!! Well, thats all I'm going to post, but if you ask I'll tell you the details, depending who you are!!! lol j/k, just ask. It was amazing, and you all need to go!!! Oh yeah, Clay is here!!! So of course I've had him since I got home!! I love my baby!!! I also went with Nina today and got Leanna's 9 month old pictures today. They are adorable. She's such a cutie!! Emily
Current Mood: |
happy |
Current Music: |
NCAA game (ALB-UCONN) | |
 |
|
Last night Bob and I studied for our Biology test... yuck I am really starting to hate Bio. It was rather interesting b/c we couldn't stay focused and got basically nothing accomplished b/c the other people in the lounge were watching Wedding Crashers, and that, ladies and gentlemen is MUCH more exciting than DNA replication, transcription, and translation. Whoops, I forgot, protein synthesis as well, whatever thats supposed to mean. lol Whitney seriously cracks me up, she was making this impression of a girl who used to be in our class and it was really scary but funny, that didn't help our little studying time either. However, this morning in class we all managed to focus and answer questions when we were asked about them. So my sister came here this past weekend, we had a lot of fun. We watched Freshman Skits, that was overall funny, but a few of them were definitely not worth watching or even thinking about ever again. She met Bob, well kind of, he was drunk but hey... its college. lol We went shopping, then to olive garden w/ Mal and Mo that was lots of fun. After that we had some fun at the dorm ;). It was nice to sleep in this weekend and then get up and go hang w/ the lil sis. I met my parents 1/2 way both times, so it was really easy to get her and get rid of her!!! lol no I'm just kidding but we did have a lot of fun. Then it randomly started snowing... weird, I know, and we weren't cold and we had on Flip-flops and short sleeves... but w/e we managed. Sunday I had another food meeting dealing w/ the whole Atherton food sucks situation, and I think we have a really good chance of getting things turned around here at the good old BU. Hopefully, b/c its soooo gross and smelly. Well its off to meet Bob, for lunch, and then a biology seminar!! whoohoo... not I really hate Bio seminars, they are boring too, but I'm thinking that today's topic might be a little promising, its about genetics and all that good stuff. Ok well off to meet the man, in the freaking monsoon that we are having, but I have my rain boots so its all good!!! Emily Only 2 more days till Hawaii w/ Ashley!!!! Yes, can't wait, we are going to have so much fun girlie!!!
Current Mood: |
Its almost time for Hawaii |
Current Music: |
Come Clean | |
 |
|
|
 |
|
For anyone interested in what my roommate and I do on a daily basis, just go to em_n_mals_room thats our livejournal account name!! read it its good times up here in 214NW. |
 |
|
Ok, so Mallory and I have done nothing for pretty much all week long b/c we have been playing Mario... the old school system. Its so f*ing huge. lol We were walking to class today and we both started humming... haha it was so funny. I think that we are so obsessed that if I see a random duck or something that I might try to squish it or something... lol. ok so gearing up for a GREAT weekend w/ the boyfriend!!! and guess where I'm going for spring break???? HAWAII!!! whoohoo!!!!! I'm so super excited!!! ok well its my turn on mario again, we are on level 8-3, only one to go b4 the final castle. this is going to be one crazy semester!!!
Current Mood: |
rejuvenated |
Current Music: |
Landslide: Dixie Chicks | |
 |
|

Current Mood: |
Its Mallory's Bday!!! |
Current Music: |
And She'll Leave You with a Smile | |
 |
|
i lvoe sgima new mallory and me did lots of fun stuff but i'm tirde ass shit but i'm gonna beat cory hall up bc he is a slut. bghaha and i wentg outsid enad todl hinm what i thought and then i solte his cowboty hat and ran back to ym room. tbut then the RA almost got me bc i fell as i wa running down het hall bc i cant walkt oin a stright line. but kalin walked us home so we are safe donlt worry conner ia love u still and io didnt do nothing like mallorty said she s a skanky ass whore nanyways sp we came bakc and ate saltines an d then mallory tried to have a booyt call haha b ut we went outide in stead and told cory that a my is a sluty ass bithc which she si for real. he gavedx m,e a hug and sent me to bed and todl me he loved me, but i didnt hthink he meant it cause hes drubnk too we are all drunk here at butler. b c thats how we do... goodnight i love oyu all Emily |
 |
|
Ok so Mallory and I started taking shots at 1:30 this afternoon... hahaha and its only 6:50 and I've had like 9... straight vodka baby... yeah... Now we are getting ready to go to a frat after some real pre-gammin'!!! Tonight 10 of us went to TIG Fridays for dinner, it was a lot of fun. Ana, our dorm mate, works there making balloon animals and she made us all crazy hats... lol and we have all had stuff to drink so we were really loud, it was fucking hilarious... ok well its 7:00 and we are ready to get this evening started!!! ttyl Emily |
 |
|
A look at 2005... surprisingly my these are overall cheerful... unlike the rest of the updates that I saw when I looked back!!! 2005 has been a CRAZY but Memorable year. It has definitely been great, tons of great memories, old friends lost, but better new friends gained. Its amazing how when things don't seem to be working out they change for the better :) To all my Butler friends, thank you, I love you all, to my friends at home, those of you, who I still talk to will be some of my dearest friends for all times!! Happy New Year!!! 2006 here we come!!! January: I am sooo bored. I'm at work in my office just sitting here b/c I completed all of my other tasks. February: This is one of the worst weeks/days of my life... I am so fed up with everything that I can't do anything but cry... Someone make it all go away, please... March: Things have been really crazy lately!!! lol So the family finally decided that they are leaving around 4am March 12 and returning late at night March 20!!!!! whoohoo 9 whole days w/out the rents!!! lol. :) April: Today was a WONDERFUL day!!! May: :( Its the end for Gretchen and Meredith... lol I'm sad they were my favorite... Now I'm rooting for Uchenna and Joyce. I really hate Rob and Amber... and I think that Kelly is really whiney. lol Ok time to finish my paper for environmental biology...yuck June: Well I've been just a LITTLE Busy this past week... to say the least! July: Happy 4th of July! Getting ready to go to Danny's going away party... :( The Navy better take good care of him!! Love ya Dan. Then leaving for CHICAGO!!! For Roadtrip 2005 w/ my GIRS, Kris, and Jess. Yay! August:hahaha, so I posted about a week ago that my shoulder wasn't broken... well the doctors were wrong, my MRI results proved that it was indeed broken! lol so now I have a broken back and shoulder. my life and luck w/ broken bones just cracks me up. well I leave on Saturday and I can't wait!!!! September: Rascal Flatts was AWESOME!!! It was the best concert ever! October: None November: None December: Wow... its been a super long time... lol
Current Mood: |
Its been a fullfilling year... |
Current Music: |
Seasons of Love (Rent Soundtrack) | |
 |
|
For those people who like to read other peoples livejournals in 6 months from now, i sure hope this is interesting, to make lies up about and blow everything out of proportion... its not my fault you are insecure and have to go looking for reasons... GET A LIFE!!! it just might do you some good, but if not continue your snooping, see where it gets you in life, the answer would be no where... its not my fault certain people can't face reality, or remember anything that happened... 8 times? haha go read it again, try counting this time, its like 2-3 times, learn to read. but i forgot your girlfriend controls everything, nvm the fact she breaks your heart, then plays w/ it, then picks you back up when she wants some action... thats nice. well i hope this is interesting in 6 months, b/c when you read it 6 months ago it wasn't a problem!!!
Current Mood: |
people are so dumb | |
 |
|
|
 |
|
Rascal Flatts was AWESOME!!! It was the best concert ever!
Current Mood: |
Its sunday night...:( | |
 |
|
count up all the ones u have done and repost with: ___/100 1.smoked a cigarette 2.smoked a cigar 3.made out with a member of the same sex 4.crashed a friend's car 5.stolen a car 6.been in love 7.been dumped 8.shoplifted 9.been fired 10.been in a fist fight 11.snuck out of your house 12.had feelings for someone who didnt have them back 13.been arrested 14.made out with a stranger 15.gone on a blind date 16.lied to a friend 17.had a crush on a teacher 18.skipped school 19.slept with a co-worker 20.seen someone die 21.been on a plane 22.thrown up in a bar 23.taken painkillers 24.love someone or miss someone right now 25.laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by 26.made a snow angel 27.played dress up 28.cheated while playing a game 29.been lonely 30.fallen asleep at work/school 31.used a fake id 32.felt an earthquake 33.touched a snake 34.ran a red light 35.been suspended from school 36.had detention 37.been in a car 38.hated the way you look 39.witnessed a crime 40.pole danced 41.been lost 42.been to the opposite side of the country 43.felt like dying 44.cried yourself to sleep 45.played cops and robbers 46.sang karaoke 47.done something you told yourself you wouldn't 48.laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose 49.caught a snowflake on your tongue 50.kissed in the rain 51.sing in the shower 52.made love in a park 53.had a dream that you married someone 54. glued your hand to something 55. got your tongue stuck to a flag pole 56.worn the opposite 's clothes 57.been an asshole 58. sat on a roof top 59. didn't take a shower for a week 60.ever too scared to watch scary movies alone 61.played chicken 62.been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on 63.been told you're hot by a complete stranger 64.broken a bone 65.been easily amused 66.laugh so hard you cry 67.mooned/flashed someone 68.cheated on a test 69.forgotten someone's name 70.slept 71.gone skinny dipping in a pool 72.been kicked out of your house 73.blacked out from drinking 74.played a prank on someone 75.gone to a late night movie 76.made love to anything not human 77.failed a class 78.choked on something you're not supposed to eat 79.played an instrument for more than 10 hours 80.cheated on a gf/bf 81.ate a whole package of oreos 82.thrown strange objects 83.felt up someone 84.thought about running away 85.ran away 86.did it 87.had detention and not attend it 88.yelled at parents 89.made parent cry 90.cried over someone 91.owned more than 5 sharpies 92.dated more than 1 person at once 93.have a dog 94.have a cat 95.own an instrument 96.been in a band 97.had more than 25 sodas in one day 98.broken a cd 99.shot a gun 100.been on myspace for more than 5 hours
Current Mood: |
her music is wonderful |
Current Music: |
Julies CD (its awesome!!) she lives in my hall | |

|
|